Grow Old with me the best it yet to be........................these words were embroidered and framed and hung in my parents home for as long as I can remember. My Mom would often use these words for different occasions. Today started as any normal day at our house.....yes it is valentines day but we are planning on going on a trip next week so decided to skip any gifts or out for supper until next week when we are gone.
Well Valentines Day is about "LOVE" and there is alot of hype and advertisment about gifts...relationships and finding the perfect thing for that perfect someone (usually a size 6 little chick sporting cleavage and rose or a tan buff guy wearing nothing but his boxer shorts). I have tried so hard to talk to my kids about real love , real relationships and life long marriage. I try to talk to them about alot of things ...sometimes they listen ....sometimes they pretend to listen and well sometimes they don't listen at all . I so want them to know what it is to truely love someone and also to walk in the faith that their grandparents set before them. SO I didn't get roses today but I got a lesson in what love is really all about.
Well my inner voice somehow wants to convey to you today some real TRUE things about TRUE love. You really don't even have to listen with your ears.... you need to listen with your eyes. My kids would tell me that when they were talking and I was distracted by doing to many things as once. My eyes have told me the answer to a real love story......as many of you know my Dad has cirrhosis of the liver . He got this as a side affect of a mediction he was taking. It has slowly weakened his body...his mind and ability to care for himself. He rarely leaves the house and is more bed ridden every week. Sometimes he is good and gets around the house with a cane and other days he is unable to get out of bed.
If you know my Dad you will know that HE took care of mom. He wasn't romantic (that we ever saw) He didn't send flowers or write fancy words....he didn't lavish her with fancy gifts or big trips. But there was never one second that I ever thought he didn't love her...... He was strong and tough.....he was honest and held on to strong morals and values and I never doubted his love and faith in God.....I heard it with my eyes.
In the last few years I have seen my parents move to town....I watched my Dad hand over the everyday responsibilty of the farm to us so graciously. I watched him go from spending 12 hours a day in teh combine to riding out to the field to watch. I have watched him go from drivng his pick-up to riding along......I have watched him sit back and enjoy the grandkids discuss politics, church and wars. I have seen his heart grow soft for grandkids that aren't perfect and need to learn things the hard way. I have heard him ask about each one of us over and over and encourage eash of us in our own journey. But on this Valentines day I want to remind you what true love is.
All You have to do is watch my mom care for my Dad. Mom makes his favorite things to eat..sometimes she has to feed him. She helps him with his daily needs.....sometimes she has to clean up after him. She gently holds his hand or touches his leg. She walks beside him as they shufflle from bed to the table. They still can joke about things and he still teases her . Her schedule revolves around him...he knows she will be there if he calls for her. I have watched them switch roles...she now cares for him.
Today was not a good day for them...mom called for me to help her. I did things I never thought I would or even could do for my Dad. I told him he had to listen to me as I was helping get him into bed but we decided that he was still the "Boss". We laughed as I lifted his feet and tied his buttons. I cried with my mom as we talked of getting outside care for him or the next step of a nursing home.As I left and drove away I got that feeling where your heart gets big and goes into your throat.....you kinda figure out what real love is all about. Oliva asked me this week as I held our new little grand daughter Kwynlee in one arm and she sat on the other side..."Grandma do you still love us?'... "Grandma would never love you less...my heart just gets bigger and I love you All even more" I replied....that is true love.
Real Love is around us everyday.....sometimes we need to look past the roses and chocolates and listen with our eyes. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I know that God walks beside us everyday promising us that the best is yet to be.
Family Photos 2012
12 years ago
