Look Up....Fear Not... I am with you

Look Up ....Psalm 121
Fear Not....Psalm 46
I am with you....Psalm 91

    Its about 3 am and I am awake. As with many of you these uncertain days we can start to think ahead and that can cause us to ponder a little.  Dan and I have been working hard at ways to  simplify our life. We recently moved to an addition we built onto The North Place..... we were in the process of selling the home place to David...we were in the process of selling Dan's moms apartment ..... we were in the process of going thru insurances  and simplifying those things....... we were in the process of making farming decisions as we are getting older and the small family farms are struggling............we were in the process of making retirement plans and what that could look like........we were in the process of helping David turn the basement of his house into an apartment. We had a plan, we were both willing to  work hard  and we were both willing to do what ever it took to carry out this plan  of OURS. And then God said STOP.
    Last Friday morning Dan came home from work shortly after he left. He had to tell me that Trans ova had lay offs and he  he was one of them  along with many others. Dan loved his job there, he loves his team there,( I love his team there,) he loved his flexibility there. He loved the way they all pitched in to help each other and work together. We depended on his paycheck to help support our family and all the ways were were trying to make positive  changes in our life, and we depend on health insurance as I continue to fight serious health issues. Friday we did not panic. I was so proud of Dan for all the ways he handled everything. We had devotions like we normally do, we prayed and we both knew that we needed to TRUST because God's plans and control are much better than our own and that he walks beside us  thru both the good times and the bad.
     Saturday the whole corona virus precautions hit pretty hard.  We realized that yes this was going to be for real and it was going to affect all of us in some way.  The devil started working pretty hard here in my little house.  We were both still in shock over the job loss, we had concerns for my Mom as her assisted living place closed the doors, Aria continues to have seizures and goes back to Mayo in a few weeks, Kycie was scheduled to have tonsils out, its a year this week that Dan's mom passed away, schools shut down, people were going crazy buying supplies and then the  fear and worry of financial implications  and bills to pay and the list went on filling my thoughts. All these thoughts and panic lasted less than five minutes and then a couple hours later they lasted another 5 minutes and that seemed to continue through the whole day. And then the phone started ringing with cancellations  or concerns for reservations at The North Place..... that's our second income. Ok.... I still believe God walks beside me and I know HIS plan is much better than my own. I am not writing this because I want a pity party. I am writing this because each one of us can just fill in their own story, their own thoughts, their own panic and concern.
     Sunday morning I needed church and Pastor Mike started the service with these three things.... Look UP......Fear Not... and ...I am with you..... from the Psalms.  I have found these three things so valuable this week ! I feel that Facebook  has been filled with positive and uplifting things, encouragement and prayers. Our  leaders are  praying and encouraging prayer. People are reaching out to each other in kindness and love.  Families are home, spending time together, sitting around the table for dinner.I have prayed for ways to simplify my life and not be so crazy busy all the time. Well God  said STOP... He said Look UP ...  He said Fear Not.... He said  I am with you. He said ....My Plans are way better than yours..... He said ...Trust Me! Tonight as  I sit in the darkness of the night, I hear the rain falling on the rooftop, its quiet and my heart feels at peace knowing I have a God who is greater than all of our circumstances. Join me in prayer for our nation, our leaders , our families , our health care providers, our teachers, our students, our small business' and those that don't have the comfort that God reigns over all of this!

PS  I'm sure that I myself along with all of you still have hard days ahead and I may have more than 5 minutes of panic and worry every couple hours. There were a couple times today that I felt close to the edge of falling apart. Pray for strength for each other, your kids and your spouse. Pray for yourself , pray that God stays close to you so others can see HIM thru you.
        

Perspective..............

No matter how old we get it seems that some days we just need our Mom. Well that was last week!
     Life has been extremely busy in our quest to downsize our life.....slow down our life and go back to what is really important. Last year at this time Dan had just turned 59.....I had been having Health issues with chronic pain....The North Place was busy...... Dans moms health was failing and we spent many hours caring for her. She passed away in March...... farming was tough and we just started talking about what was important and what we wanted the next 20 years if we were given that. We both said that growing in our faith  together was top on our list. We both agreed that family was our next priority and connections with people and finding a way to continue to serve others at The North Place with out falling exhausted into bed each night! We all have great plans right??
      With my health issues deteriorating we went to  Mayo Clinic. I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of Rheumatoid arthritis. I started giving myself shots and after a few months I found my self improving!  Our little granddaughter was also a patient at Mayo and was diagnosed with Infantile Spasms.  We made the decision to  "rebuild" the old wooded corn crib on The North Place making it a completely handicap accessible addition to the North Place where we could live.  We are looking at changing some of the ways we are farming as we are getting older and just cant do everything with just the two of us! We worked day and night and I just wasn't feeling well and ended up with bladder infection, kidney infection, sinus infection and finally had an emergency appendectomy right in the middle of harvest! (We believe this was caused by the medication I was taking and have since changed that!) I look back and we plain and simply have had a stressful year!!
        Well last week we moved into our new little addition we call  "The Owl House" ( Ill tell that story in a later post)  Last week I finished up Christmas parties at  The North Place and after moving and finishing things up here plus cleaning and getting rid of the extra stuff from the old house i was faced with the daunting task of taking down the Christmas decorations at the North Place..........Overwhelmed!!! and I just needed my Mom! My Mom can put everything into perspective for me by not even saying anything...........my view from the top of the steps caused me to pause a minute. There was my mom....she wheeled her chair to the bottom of the tree and began pulling off ornaments and winding up lights using just one hand as she lost the use of her other hand from her stroke 5 years ago. She simply did what she could .....We are each given a new day every morning...we are given the opportunity to find JOY in that day....we are given a purpose each day even if it isn't exactly our  plan. . I was truly humbled by her courage and integrity to do whatever she could to  bless me that day. What an example for me! and what perspective it gave me from the top of the stairs! I must add to the ending of this story even though it humbles me greatly....as i came down the steps carrying lights and ornaments I took and tumble down the last 3 steps landing flat out on the floor at Moms feet, Christmas lights wrapped around my head and ornaments  rolling across the floor. I thought this may be the very thing that would give way to the stress of the months of bucking thru it everyday and i was on the verge of tears.....but  then Mom laughed (once I said I wasn't hurt)............she laughed and  I laid on the floor and laughed. I picked up myself off the floor, untangled the lights around my head, picked up my pride and we laughed some more!  It was a good day and it was just what i needed.
Later she made the brave decision to see the loft of the  Owl House. Up the steps went pretty good and uneventful. She spent about 45 minutes up there checking out the details that I had been telling her about and then it was time to come down..................

My mom is a brave lady, we got her sitting on the floor and descended the steps one at a time with her completely trusting that I wasn't going to let her go for a tumble. So my new little house was filled with lots of laughter the very first day I lived there! We had a little coffee time and it was a good day filled with JOY because Mom chose to find JOY in the hard things in life.. Take time for your Mom today or show your kids what it means to find JOY by walking in faith and surrendering to God.

The Gift Of Graditude 2017

To our family and friends
Each year I think that time just goes faster. This year is no exception . Again we have so much to be thankful for.... God's faithfulness, our family, our mom's , safe and abundant harvest,   and the list goes on and on. Yet do we find ourselves truly grateful?
      The North Place continues to be a wild and crazy adventure, I have  a whole drawer full of "thank you's" and I am often left with little thoughtful gifts of kindness that are truly thought about and so meaningful to me. I find myself so grateful for these kind words and thoughtful gifts when I am so tired at the end of the week or question myself  and my own capabilities to run what has turned into business. Facebook had a "grateful" challenge for the month of November and each day it listed a question like "what household task are you grateful for....what time of day...Bible character...talent....teacher...kindness...surprise...room and household task etc. I loved reading the responses because it brought me to truly  be grateful for small things that we can so easily overlook.
     So this Holiday season is fast approaching and my goal is to find something to be grateful for each day....the small things. I want to be able to give the thoughtful thank you and thoughtful gifts that have so touched my heart this past year. I want time to slow down just a bit as life just seems to fly by each week.
        We took a little road trip this fall. Just Dan and I with a little pop up pick up camper. We headed west with no specific road mapped out for us.  We had written down 10 big decisions that we needed to talk about as our daily life here just gets a little crazy. Our goal was to go as far as Boise ID to see a special nephew and his family. We called ahead each day to check out closed roads from the fires and smoke. Boise was not looking like an option as we wanted to head North into the mountains. We ended up in the Black Hills....rented  a 4 wheeler, packed a lunch and spent one whole day on the back trails and cow paths. It was a wonderful, slow day of just nothing. We called ahead to Jackson WY and the Tetons and they suddenly had a wind change and clear skies. The ride across Wyoming was beautiful and desolate all at the same time. We camped at the base of the Tetons....it was a slow day and time stood still. We traveled up the mountains the next day.....each turn got more breathtaking  and majestic. We took a small boat across a lake and hiked up to the waterfalls. The beauty had no words. The road took us thru Yellowstone and the winding mountain road to Bozeman MT. We visited life long friends there and just got to relax. Our next stop was Sheridan WY at Dan's cousin where we enjoyed the beautiful mountain view from their front porch , a drive and hike up into the mountains. An then we headed home....found beauty in the flatlands of SD and then yes IOWA!  The crops looked wonderful and the fields looked beautiful to us! We commented on how we never even had the radio on once, we drove many miles quietly  just enjoying not being busy!! Oh and we only made one big decision the whole week !
       So we came home refreshed and ready to harvest and take on a few new projects! We made the decision to raise the big barn on The North Place and put a new foundation under it. It was getting unsafe and it had to come down or be restored. I just knew that I would regret it if we took it down with out trying to save it. Again we relied on our kids and grandkids to come for a few work days. It is all straight and wrapped with plastic for the winter. This spring we will start again and that gives us time to collect some old wood and tin from a corn crib that has to come down  at Chad and Jenna's. Many have asked to rent it already for next summer. Honestly we are not sure what the plans are as far as using it as part of The North Place.
       Our family gathers often and I am so thankful for that. They often come help Dan and I as we continue to think we sure can do it ourselves only to find that we too are aging a little! We love having our "littles" around if it's a gator ride, checking the calves, riding in the combine, jumping on the tramp or just being a part of our daily lives. The grandkids range in age from 1 to 12 and  we are excited to add another one this spring! The big kids all  help at The North Place in some way and the next three already know how to set a table! The youngest who is 18 months we just try to keep out of there haha!
       Our Mom's are both aging and have some health issues but they both continue to encourage us and most importantly pray for each of us all each day!
       So 2017 has come and is almost gone... I don't know what tomorrow may bring but I know who holds the future. What a great gift! I am grateful for that assurance!
May you be blessed this holiday season as you gather with your families!

A women of courage......

 Courage: quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty , danger  or pain with out fear.
 The word courage has been on my mind often over the past year 2016........we are coming up on the 1 year mark of my Moms stroke , Jan 30 2016. This has been a year of changes for all of us but also a year where God once again proves His faithfulness and goodness everyday. My Dad left my mom with the instructions to go out and continue to serve others and be there for us girls and our families. She was our cornerstone and faithfully lead us and others with her servant heart and her busy hands and feet. And then her life changed.

Our lives changed, and many others life changed but for mom every single thing she did became hard work. She has improved in many ways over the last year but everyday...everything she does takes courage. I marvel at her strength....her faith....her perseverance ....her spirit. But most of all I am so blessed by her courage. It humbles me.....I become overwhelmed by it.

Just this week Aspen Heights (the wonderful assisted living place she now lives) held a Holiday open house. All the residents have been faithfully practicing the bells to perform that night. I went there (seems like I am always in a hurry) and I stopped and marveled at the tables full of Christmas goodies, hot appetizers, hot  soups and sandwhiches that were made for all the residents and their families. It seemed to hit me right in the heart...... for many years it was my moms joy to create all these fun traditions of foods and her biggest joy is to serve us yummy things and bring goodies to others. Now I saw her come walking slowly down the hallway...with her cane...her left hand hanging tightly to her side. She very proudly took her chair among the other residents, she picked up her left hand with her right hand and laid  it in her lap. They handed her 1 little bell......the music began...and she played her bell. To me it was more clear and louder than all the rest......that little bell .....that was courage.

Yes mom lost physical things and the ability to care for herself but she is the strongest person I know...she still is my cornerstone...her faith still leads me....she teaches perseverance and she still teaches us to serve others....she teaches me to love the Lord and she teaches me that God leads us thru the valleys and He never leaves us.

Finding courage can be as simple as ringing one little bell.....
Yes .....God is faithful

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A Journey of "Hope"

 

A Journey of Hope...............Our life here on this earth is often called a "journey". Journey defined by the dictionary says "traveling from one place to another usually taking a long time or progress from one stage to another." HOPE is defined as "to look forward to...believe, desire or trust".
Well two weeks ago early on a Sunday morning my mom called....I think I need you to come ... I think I am having a stroke. Well a new journey began, a journey that yes will take a long time and yes progress from one stage to another. This journey started with not much HOPE as Mom lay in the hospital with no movement on her left side. The strong ever present person in all our lives lay quite helpless , unsure of what the future was or where this journey would take us. We transferred her to Sioux Falls where we received our first glimpse of hope thru the kindness and encouragement of the staff at Avera Rehabilitation Center. We are on day 8 of rehab...everyday we see small signs of recovery...everyday they tell us she will go back to her house. I am amazed at her hard work and attitude. I don't think I would do well in her position. Relying on others to help her with daily task that she did so easily just the day before. We all grieve in different ways for different things. I don't think I "grieved" for my Dad because he left me with such peace...I continue to be surrounded by him on this farm, in the way I work, and  how I do daily things (like fix a fence , help bring a new calf into the world or dig in the dirt to check if the corn is coming up)  Dan will sometimes call me "Willie" when I get a little pushy or when I want to work all the time. And then we have David who reminds me so much of my dad, sometime it makes me laugh and other times it makes me cry as he walks across the yard and goes and stands by the cattle fence with Dan. So for me a big part of dad is still here.
One of the first days I spent with mom up in rehab I was a great encourager and cheerleader who cheered her on in the slightest movements of her leg or foot. The staff gave me hope but on the way home I wept......I was overwhelmed with thankfulness that we did not lose mom and we were not planning a funeral but I got  a little selfish and began to think ahead about what mom did lose and thru that, what I lost. Mom is our rock....she holds us all together. She gives parenting advice and spiritual advice....she helps me plan food and finds recipes for me to try.... she gathers us as often as possible and encourages in our daily lives.....she somehow makes each one of us feel like we are the favorite child or grandchild......she is a great example for all of us to be  of service  to those around us. She is a great example of living with hope and courage and that it is worth it to live a life of faith.  As I drove home that snowy night God showed me that even if mom does not fully recover physically
she can still be the hands and feet of Jesus.....all the things I need her for aren't really physical, her heart wasn't affected and neither was her faith...the faith that gives HOPE....the faith that calls us to TRUST.
We don't know what the future holds but we know who holds the future..... My.mom taught me that.

The "Gathering Place".......

 

 

It is March......winter seems to have been long and I am very ready for warm temperatures and long sunshiny days. The North Place has kept us busy this winter. We have met many people.....celebrated Christmas with families,  birthdays, anniversaries, rehearsal suppers, scrapbook week-ends, card party groups, ladies week-ends, a Moms group, Red Hat ladies, bridal and baby showers, church groups and of course our friends! We had 2 open houses and Tour of homes coming up next week.

 

Our goal for The North Place was to have a place where family and friends could gather, slow down and find some peacefulness among the cow pasture and the corn fields. We wanted to  some how bless others and in return we have met so many awesome people and have been blessed far beyond what we ever dreamed. So thank you  to all of you who have come to "gather" there.

 

This week we gathered there with extended family on Friday night........we got to host the family of my Aunt  after the funeral of her husband. The North Place was bursting at the seams in celebration of his life as all his brothers, kids , grandkids, great grandkids, nephews  and nieces gathered. We live in Northwest Iowa you know and many neighbors and friends had brought food so we set up a grand buffet. The house was filled with the noise , laughter and many little children running and playing with  cousins. What a blessing!

 

Saturday morning for  brunch we got to share in the 89th birthday of a spy "young" gentleman with is 4 children and their spouses. They had a whole day planned of celebrating with kids , grandkids and great grandkids. What fun to be a part of their celebration!

 

Saturday night we celebrated with our own family as we gathered for our sweet little Juddson William's 1st birthday! We had a complete Dr Suess dinner including "Green Eggs and Ham" and Moose Juice and Goose Juice" ! Sunday morning we all gathered again at our church for our newest family member Klaire Marie's baptism . A few tears fell as I looked down the row and we were all gathered there to share in this blessing. The other grandkids watched so attentively as little Klaire lay perfectly still and got baptized. Kwynlee watched carefully and took her  "big sister" role very seriously. Olivia wiped my tears away..."Grandma why are you crying?"..."because my heart is "full" of Joy today" I replied. My goal in life is to love and serve the Lord.... gather my family and watch them grow in their faith....grow in their marriages and raise their children to love and serve the Lord. So is my life always perfect?...no....is it always easy?...no.....but God is ALWAYS faithful. May your heart be full of JOY  and may you be blessed this week.

Christmas 2014

Christmas 2014

We went to the movie Saving Christmas last week......we were the only ones there. It was a slow movie with mostly narration but I found the message something I have thought about all week. The Christmas season can become a little crazy with all the worldly and  materialistic things that go with it but really it all comes down to how we choose to look at life.....we can chose to make Christmas crazy , materialistic, worldly and  thoughtless or we can choose to find JOY in all of it. December has been crazy for us....well all of 2014 has been a little crazy! We took a little step of faith and decided to build a little cabin type house on our "North Place". We built it with the intention to  have a place for families and friends to gather. We want to somehow in some way bless others while sharing with them the beautiful sunrise and sunsets that give that place a special sense of peacefulness. We started preparing the building site in June...dug a basement the end of July and started building in August. Our first official guests arrived the week of Thanksgiving. We have been overwhelmed by the response that we have had and all the gatherings that have been there and are booked in the next year.  Our whole family helped to make this dream a reality....the grandma's brought love and support and also a few meals as we went thru harvest and kept things going there. Our kids all stepped up and helped in many different ways...our grandkids were all an active part of the cleaning up and building . They even dug up a "hidden treasure" the day we dug the basement!

So Christmas has kinda snuck up on me... I am usually quite organized. Well I am not this year but it's ok. I love the season... I love buying gifts ... I love giving gifts.... I love gathering with family and friends. I love Christmas music and baking goodies.........I am blessed with a family that gathers.... my family will all be home for Christmas.....we number 33 and anxiously await a new baby yet this week! We will gather with Dan's family and there too most of them come....we have grown to over 40 with 2 new babies coming soon. So in the hustle and bustle of the season my wish for you this Christmas is to "gather".......put your differences aside.....choose to find joy.....live life fully, finding that JOY in living a life of faith and service to our Savior whose birth we celebrate this Christmas season.