Our December began with the celebration of Olivia's birthday! She turned 3.......she is quite adorable I must say . But don't let the big blue eyes and the blonde pigtails fool you! Our Miss Olivia is always on the go and can very quickly get into many things.She is always getting a "snack" from the chocolate chip drawer or sneaking something from the frig. She copies everthing Christian does and says and she had a very Tinkerbell Birthday!
The days are getting much colder and we are expecting much snow and blizzard like conditions the next few days........nothing like snow for the Holidays!! Kate moved back home this week to spend the Christmas holidays at home. I was very excited to have her come home.....................what I wasn't expecting was all her "stuff". We spent a full 25 minutes hauling all her things from her car to her room......"options" she said ," I like options". My bathroom counter is again full of "stuff".....there are cords from computers and phones through out the house, the lights are left on......... dishes and glasses are left by the couch, I hear her on the phone way late at night and the shower runs for 20 minutes leaving her wet enough to use at least 3 towels!!! Oh.... and she used MY razor!!!!
I decided not to fret about the new found mess all thru my house and just enjoy the time with her......bake cookies, watch movies and play games. Maybe all my kids will be snowed in for 3 days!!!!! Hooray!!!
So we will celebrate this week.......the birth of Jesus. Maybe we will be surrounded by families, church, food and parties or maybe God will just stop all our busy activities and leave us snowed in ....together as a family....forcing us to stop and remember the real meaning of Christmas. Whatever your week brings you, my wish is that you are blessed and that you are surrounded by those you love and that you feel the true JOY of belonging to Jesus.

A Lesson from "Larry"

This is Larry. Larry showed up at our house one sunny afternoon this spring. He couldn't fly and was very friendly. He seemed to be looking for a home and he very much liked having contact with people. First Larry wanted to be by the house. He would sit by the door or the window if he heard me inside and he would "talk" to me. You can laugh if you want but he did! He was very responsive when I would talk back. Larry tried to belong in the house with us, he tried to belong with the dog but Tanner was not to thrilled with a big grey goose following him. Larry tried to belong with the chickens but they just didn't have the social skills he was looking for.

One day while I was cleaning inside the house I heard a terrible commotion outside, Larry was honking VERY loudly . I opened the door and looked around.......nothing unusual. But when I went back in , Larry started honking and pacing on the driveway. I went outside thinking maybe the dog was bothering him or something. It was then that I heard a loud "maaaa maaaaa". Oh dear it was my 2 little goats that I had been bottle feeding since early spring. Tinkerbell (Named by Olivia) was up on the pool deck making all the noise and much to my horror Lightning McQueen (named by Christan) was frantically paddling in the pool. I ran and swooped him from the water, he was quite thankful because I don't really think that normally goats like to swim. After that incident Larry took ownership of the baby goats. If they got into any trouble or got out of Larry's sight he would honk and honk till they would come running and he knew where they were. Larry slept with the goats in the barn, he ate what they ate and he came running when they came running. Larry seemed to think he was a goat.....he thought that was where he belonged.

As the summer went on Larry became part of our lives. He would welcome you when you came on the yard. We all talked to him and fed him crusts of bread. He would join us by the pool on hot summer days waiting for someone to splash him or he would swim and do his own version of tricks in the baby pool. If we would take walks at night with Christian and Olivia in the stroller ,Larry would want to come along. he would honk and make a fuss until Daniel would lift him up and perch him on the top of the stroller. He would perch on the top as if it was quite normal to go for a walk on a warm summer night. It seemed to make him feel like he belonged.

Towards the end of the summer I would catch Larry trying to fly. It made me wonder where he really did belong and if he would try to join the geese that would fly over in the fall. So being kind of "motherly" I decided I would teach Larry to fly.................yes my kids thought I was kinda crazy and I am quite sure some of the neighbors might have too. BUT.........who was supposed to teach Larry to fly? he had no example or encouragement to spread his wings and fly.....everyone needs that right?? So Larry learned to fly. He started by flying just a few feet at a time, just a few feet off the ground. I ran around the yard....yes flapping my arms and encouraging him to keep going. As Larry got better and better, I got on the moped..............Christian would sit on the back and we would flap our arms and Larry would go farther and farther. Not higher but farther. Soon we no longer had to flap our arms, we would just call to him and he would fly right beside us all the way to grandma's house. I wish I had this on tape because it was unbelievable and very funny. Christian and I would have to stop because we were laughing so hard. He would fly right next to us....we could feel the little breeze his wings made. Christian would yell "turn Larry , turn" when we approached the corner so he would not fly into us.

This fall when we got rid of the goats, Larry became very attached to me. He followed me everywhere, he slept on the deck right in front of the door. He came right in the house the day we were moving Kate out to college. As the boxes went out, Larry came in. He followed me to the field when I would go with the tractor and then he started to follow me when I left the yard with the van. It seemed he just need a sense of belonging somewhere, he wanted connection with someone. It amazed me what an awesome creature God made this goose and how we too long for that sense of connection. We all want to belong somewhere, we want to fit in, we want a safe place to call home. The lesson from Larry is this......accept who you are....... accept those who are different.....accept where God's calls you to be and who he wants you to be. God gives us that sense of belonging, that sense of safety and best of all, if we listen...........He is there right beside us encouraging us to fly.

I would like to write this story for a Childrens Book............hmmmmm. Something to think about!

Sometimes God brings you where you need to be...... ....

"Among the Fireflies".......A Defining Moment.

This should have been my first post. Sometimes it takes me a while to write the words the way I want them. I sat in the tractor again to day and disked the last field before we put things way for the winter. It is there that I do a lot of thinking, planning and praying. I have not shared this story with very many people.....I wasn't ready. I just wanted it to be my moment for a while.

As some of you know, we have had some tough family stuff in the past. Things that make you fall apart.....things you can not fix as a parent. Our oldest son left for college and turned his life upside down, inside out and backwards. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done..........to watch and not be able to control any of it. The horror of not always knowing where he was or if he was safe or even if he was alive. I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat panic and pray. I could feel he needed it right at the moment. He made some bad choices. As parents you pull back from the outside world. Why? because you are doing everything you can to just survive....you are trying to hold the rest of your family together as it affects them all. You are trying to hold your marriage together because tough love is hard and you may disagree or you just handle things in a different way.

I call this child "my Jonah". Many times God would spit him out on the dry sand......and many times he would head the opposite direction of God's leading. But I always told him that God had a special plan for him and that HE was going to use him in special way. Time would pass, he had it all figured out, he knew all the answers. At this point a mom told me that he was God's child and God would not let him go. These were wise words, comforting words............but I am a "doer". God expected more from me right? I was the mom, there had to be something. I should pray more, I should find someone he could talk to, I could read books on how to parent, I could find other resources for him. I would punish myself over and over thinking what did we do wrong? What should we have done different? Well I continued to pray, I begged God to show us what we were supposed to do next, how could we reach him. I did my best to hold myself and the rest of the family together. I gave him over to God only to take him back when it seemed that God was doing nothing.

This is the part of the story I want you to think about. Someone made the comment to me...."well maybe God is telling you what to do...maybe you just are not listening." You know how the little hairs stand up in the back of your neck.......? Yes that was me. I thought you have got to be kidding me. She of course had the perfect family and had no idea what I had been living with the past years. I was waiting for God to use me, for Him to show me. I had begged for answers.

Later that week I took my prayer journal and walked to the railroad tracks about 1/4 mile from our house. It was a beautiful night. It was quiet. A low rumbling thunderstorm was far away in the south sky. As the sun set and the sky darkened, the fields began to light up. Millions of fireflies came out. There was blanket of soft little lights everywhere. I sat among the fireflies. My heart was tired. I stubbornly came there to wait for God to talk to me. I sat on my favorite thinking place and told God I was going to stay there until He told me how to reach my son. I told Him I was listening...........As I sat among the fireflies my heart softened some, but God did not talk to me. I waited ....and waited. The millions of fireflies continued to glow in the the absolute quiet night and I waited. In a special moment I finally realized what God wanted from me. God was right there, His message for me came in the complete silence "be still and know that I am God". We sometimes look so hard for answers when we just need to be still and trust Him. I finally found peace. God didn't need me to change my son's heart, He needed me to trust Him. God brought me to a quiet, still place among the fireflies to teach me that He loves my son more than I do. He just wants me to Trust Him.

"We're going on a Bear hunt....."

On Grandparents Day at Christians preschool, He with his class recited the song, "We're going on a bear hunt", so the next time they came to Grandma's house we gathered our flashlights, bundled up, because it was very cold and went for a walk outside. We were going to find a BEAR!! That is the biggest joy for me as a Grandma.............I just take the time to do silly things. I think it is because I have realized how fast life really goes. We walked around the farm....... Christian and Olivia shinning their flashlights in the trees, trying to sneak up on a little bear. The stars were out and we talked about stars, it was very dark and we talked to God, we heard strange noises and we talked about all the little creatures that God made. What amazed me the most was that Christian and Olivia had no fear...........none. They trusted me completely. We eventually we found the little stuffed black bear that I had hidden in the branches of an evergreen tree......what a delight. Take time for a walk in the dark.......Child like trust.....I think God wants that from each of us. Who's in the middle of the dark? God is .....Trust Him.

P.S. Grandpa was in charge of Danika while we went on our adventure.........................Kinda makes me fall in love all over again when I see this man love the grandkids as much as he does!!

P.P.S The dog ......her name is "Trinket", she is Chad and Jenna's dog. Yes ....I babysit her and Yes....... she has on a pink and brown sweater. I have learned to never say never!!

The Wedding Day

A Celebration...........October 30, 2009

A Mom's thoughts on a wedding day......

I stepped back......trying to capture all the special moments..... The day would not slow down for me and Jenna walked down the aisle on her Dad's arm. She looked beautiful. The flowers were beautiful and a young man who promised me that he would love her and take care of her was standing in the front of church.... waiting for her. "Who gives this woman to this man to be his wife?" Dan replied "Her mother and I" just as he was supposed to. Wait a minute I thought, I am not ready to just give her away!!! But the wedding went on whether I decided to "give " her away or not. It was the wedding Jenna had always dreamed of and we really had a fun day! We had a lot of family come. Uncle's and aunt's, cousins, the "Pella" people and all the "little people" that mean so much to us. Besides our family we had people that have touched our lives in different ways. The Huss family (the Quads turned 8 this week!!!) ...........the Lamfers family where Jenna lived while going to school in Sioux Falls. These families have been such a wonderful influence to Jenna and have taught her many great things about marriage , being a mom and making a home. So thank you to all of you who came.

So we ate.....we danced ............... we Hokey-Pokeyed and we did the Chicken dance. Patience, Christian and Olivia have been practicing with me.......Grandma's do crazy things !!!

And then all to quickly it was over. The "party" was all hauled into my back room.....the rentals were returned......the wedding dress lay draped over a chair . and we went back to harvest.

It was a celebration.......what shall we find to celebrate tomorrow???? I think we all could find something, maybe it will be something as small as sitting "Among the fireflies."