Look Up....Fear Not... I am with you

Look Up ....Psalm 121
Fear Not....Psalm 46
I am with you....Psalm 91

    Its about 3 am and I am awake. As with many of you these uncertain days we can start to think ahead and that can cause us to ponder a little.  Dan and I have been working hard at ways to  simplify our life. We recently moved to an addition we built onto The North Place..... we were in the process of selling the home place to David...we were in the process of selling Dan's moms apartment ..... we were in the process of going thru insurances  and simplifying those things....... we were in the process of making farming decisions as we are getting older and the small family farms are struggling............we were in the process of making retirement plans and what that could look like........we were in the process of helping David turn the basement of his house into an apartment. We had a plan, we were both willing to  work hard  and we were both willing to do what ever it took to carry out this plan  of OURS. And then God said STOP.
    Last Friday morning Dan came home from work shortly after he left. He had to tell me that Trans ova had lay offs and he  he was one of them  along with many others. Dan loved his job there, he loves his team there,( I love his team there,) he loved his flexibility there. He loved the way they all pitched in to help each other and work together. We depended on his paycheck to help support our family and all the ways were were trying to make positive  changes in our life, and we depend on health insurance as I continue to fight serious health issues. Friday we did not panic. I was so proud of Dan for all the ways he handled everything. We had devotions like we normally do, we prayed and we both knew that we needed to TRUST because God's plans and control are much better than our own and that he walks beside us  thru both the good times and the bad.
     Saturday the whole corona virus precautions hit pretty hard.  We realized that yes this was going to be for real and it was going to affect all of us in some way.  The devil started working pretty hard here in my little house.  We were both still in shock over the job loss, we had concerns for my Mom as her assisted living place closed the doors, Aria continues to have seizures and goes back to Mayo in a few weeks, Kycie was scheduled to have tonsils out, its a year this week that Dan's mom passed away, schools shut down, people were going crazy buying supplies and then the  fear and worry of financial implications  and bills to pay and the list went on filling my thoughts. All these thoughts and panic lasted less than five minutes and then a couple hours later they lasted another 5 minutes and that seemed to continue through the whole day. And then the phone started ringing with cancellations  or concerns for reservations at The North Place..... that's our second income. Ok.... I still believe God walks beside me and I know HIS plan is much better than my own. I am not writing this because I want a pity party. I am writing this because each one of us can just fill in their own story, their own thoughts, their own panic and concern.
     Sunday morning I needed church and Pastor Mike started the service with these three things.... Look UP......Fear Not... and ...I am with you..... from the Psalms.  I have found these three things so valuable this week ! I feel that Facebook  has been filled with positive and uplifting things, encouragement and prayers. Our  leaders are  praying and encouraging prayer. People are reaching out to each other in kindness and love.  Families are home, spending time together, sitting around the table for dinner.I have prayed for ways to simplify my life and not be so crazy busy all the time. Well God  said STOP... He said Look UP ...  He said Fear Not.... He said  I am with you. He said ....My Plans are way better than yours..... He said ...Trust Me! Tonight as  I sit in the darkness of the night, I hear the rain falling on the rooftop, its quiet and my heart feels at peace knowing I have a God who is greater than all of our circumstances. Join me in prayer for our nation, our leaders , our families , our health care providers, our teachers, our students, our small business' and those that don't have the comfort that God reigns over all of this!

PS  I'm sure that I myself along with all of you still have hard days ahead and I may have more than 5 minutes of panic and worry every couple hours. There were a couple times today that I felt close to the edge of falling apart. Pray for strength for each other, your kids and your spouse. Pray for yourself , pray that God stays close to you so others can see HIM thru you.
        

Perspective..............

No matter how old we get it seems that some days we just need our Mom. Well that was last week!
     Life has been extremely busy in our quest to downsize our life.....slow down our life and go back to what is really important. Last year at this time Dan had just turned 59.....I had been having Health issues with chronic pain....The North Place was busy...... Dans moms health was failing and we spent many hours caring for her. She passed away in March...... farming was tough and we just started talking about what was important and what we wanted the next 20 years if we were given that. We both said that growing in our faith  together was top on our list. We both agreed that family was our next priority and connections with people and finding a way to continue to serve others at The North Place with out falling exhausted into bed each night! We all have great plans right??
      With my health issues deteriorating we went to  Mayo Clinic. I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of Rheumatoid arthritis. I started giving myself shots and after a few months I found my self improving!  Our little granddaughter was also a patient at Mayo and was diagnosed with Infantile Spasms.  We made the decision to  "rebuild" the old wooded corn crib on The North Place making it a completely handicap accessible addition to the North Place where we could live.  We are looking at changing some of the ways we are farming as we are getting older and just cant do everything with just the two of us! We worked day and night and I just wasn't feeling well and ended up with bladder infection, kidney infection, sinus infection and finally had an emergency appendectomy right in the middle of harvest! (We believe this was caused by the medication I was taking and have since changed that!) I look back and we plain and simply have had a stressful year!!
        Well last week we moved into our new little addition we call  "The Owl House" ( Ill tell that story in a later post)  Last week I finished up Christmas parties at  The North Place and after moving and finishing things up here plus cleaning and getting rid of the extra stuff from the old house i was faced with the daunting task of taking down the Christmas decorations at the North Place..........Overwhelmed!!! and I just needed my Mom! My Mom can put everything into perspective for me by not even saying anything...........my view from the top of the steps caused me to pause a minute. There was my mom....she wheeled her chair to the bottom of the tree and began pulling off ornaments and winding up lights using just one hand as she lost the use of her other hand from her stroke 5 years ago. She simply did what she could .....We are each given a new day every morning...we are given the opportunity to find JOY in that day....we are given a purpose each day even if it isn't exactly our  plan. . I was truly humbled by her courage and integrity to do whatever she could to  bless me that day. What an example for me! and what perspective it gave me from the top of the stairs! I must add to the ending of this story even though it humbles me greatly....as i came down the steps carrying lights and ornaments I took and tumble down the last 3 steps landing flat out on the floor at Moms feet, Christmas lights wrapped around my head and ornaments  rolling across the floor. I thought this may be the very thing that would give way to the stress of the months of bucking thru it everyday and i was on the verge of tears.....but  then Mom laughed (once I said I wasn't hurt)............she laughed and  I laid on the floor and laughed. I picked up myself off the floor, untangled the lights around my head, picked up my pride and we laughed some more!  It was a good day and it was just what i needed.
Later she made the brave decision to see the loft of the  Owl House. Up the steps went pretty good and uneventful. She spent about 45 minutes up there checking out the details that I had been telling her about and then it was time to come down..................

My mom is a brave lady, we got her sitting on the floor and descended the steps one at a time with her completely trusting that I wasn't going to let her go for a tumble. So my new little house was filled with lots of laughter the very first day I lived there! We had a little coffee time and it was a good day filled with JOY because Mom chose to find JOY in the hard things in life.. Take time for your Mom today or show your kids what it means to find JOY by walking in faith and surrendering to God.